Recently I celebrated my 'Off the calendar' birthday!
I guess time really does fly when you're having fun! And oh what fun I had.
I love birthdays and always make a point of celebrating them,why...because it's an extra special day,it's all about YOU and now and again it awesome to be reminded that through all the craziness in your life,you are loved!
Now my friends and family go into hysterics trying to find the perfect gift for me...as if getting George Clooney to pop out a cake is difficult...
So I give them a wish list,a more realistic one that is,which calms their fears of me having a horrific look on my face as I open their gifts.
And every now and then,I get wonderful surprises in my birthday stocking,which I love or forgot I had mentioned it to them or something so thoughtful,it touches me sweetly.
But somehow this year,I got a gift that I was totally unprepared for...a bright yellow Vibrator! Naughty naughty!
The vibrator,now called Richard,was not the surprise,but rather the way my friend knew him(Richard) intimately,how she knew what turned him on,the fact I could take him in the shower and bath etc etc.
And therefore the question was raised,how many other young single women resort to Richard and his friends because the real men,with two legs and arms that we seek turn out to be four-legged animals we prefer to have on a leash?
A few days passed and it was time to introduce Richard to my friends. Well,at the first the utter shock and horror on their faces that I had moved on so quickly was priceless! And when I took Richard out my bag,they were on the floor laughing. Richard must have been happy,because the rest of the afternoon he spent being touched,sniffed, turned on...and off by my girlfriends.
'so ladies,what do you think',I nervously ask them.
'Um,he's ok,but is he ill? He looks like he has jaundice!!' I was in stitches! My poor Dick.
Well,as I blow out my 32 candles,my wish is for Richard,get well soon my darling and may you grow some arms and legs :-)
Lady D
X
